Shelving and Falling out of Love

The last few weeks, I have considering shelving Shadow's Dawn temporarily. The querying and contests have been really hard on me. Each rejection and each time I don't make it into a contest is slowly eating my soul away and taking my confidence down with it.

Yet, although my brain knows I need a break, my heart still struggles. I've been through many struggles with this story. It was the thing that kept me sane during the depths of my illness, when I didn't know if I was going to die or live. Granted, I've threatened to shelve it before, during one of the many, many blow outs I've had with it. I can't tell if I honestly need a break, or if I'm just having another tantrum.

The thing is, it's not like I have never shelved it before. I actually have and more than once. Quite easily too. Right in the middle, I stopped writing and didn't return for four months. Right before the current incarnation, I actually quit writing for months because I went through the ringer with my creative writing class. I swore off writing that story until my boyfriend begged me to write it.

I went through a lot of struggles with this novel. It's the sole accomplishment in my life. The one things I could say that I succeeded at.

Then today, it clicked. I finally knew why this time was so hard:

I don't want to fall out of love with it.

I don't want to start working in something new, fall in love with it, then go back to Shadow's Dawn and go 'Dear god, was I high?'. It is actually distressing me to tears right now, that very idea. I've heard of stories from people who write a book they love, then shelve it, and come back later and hate it. It would kill me to do that. It would feel like I've wasted 6-7 years. Right down the toilet. That idea distresses me more than querying. It's like being stabbed through the heart.

I've been through so much with the story, and it's not because it's the first. It would be the same if it was the second, or third, or tenth. Sometimes I wish it was the second, third, or tenth, so people would take my feelings more seriously. It's not about the number it happens to be, it's about the emotional connection and pure passion I have for it. What's the point in writing a book if you don't love it with every part of your heart? If it hurts so much, doesn't that just mean you tried to give it everything you had?

Maybe this is what it means to have a passion project. And the Shadows Series is mine.

Celebrity Writers

No, I'm not talking about Rowling.

I'm talking about celebrities who write books because it's the last medium they haven't taken over yet.

Yeah, I'm talking about Snooki, the Kardashians, Justin Bieber, and Hilary Duff.

Now, I have no inherent dislike for celebrities who decide to write. If they are actually talented and don't use their celebrity--which I find is cheating--then I don't really care. I'm not a bitter, unagented author. I'm unagented, but not bitter. Okay I'm a bit bitter, but you would be too with 66 rejections and zip requests.

This kind of ties into my belief that just because you can string a sentence together does not mean that you are a writer. Just because you are a celebrity and can string a sentence together doesn't mean you can write a decent book.

When publishers publish book by people like Snooki, I really think it underminds the art of writing. Now, I know lots of bad books have been and will be published *cough*twilight*cough* but for every Snooki who gets picked up by a big house publisher, that means it's one last chance for a writer like me to get noticed. It's hard enough to compete with other writers, I don't need over zealous celebs too.

I just hate to see the beautiful art of writing get sullied by someone's money making selfishness. It's just as much of an art as the Michaelgelo or Sintine Chapel or the <i>Mona Lisa</i>, or <i>Starry Night</i> are works of art. All I'm saying is that people need to remember what writing, at it's core is: an art form.

(I am well aware that publishers can be selfish money makers also, but if the work isn't there for them to sell, then how can they make money off of it?)

It's a matter of respect. Respect I don't think we writers are nessecarily recieving.

Review: Zombie Whisperer by Caterina Torres

Zombie Whisperer by Caterina Torres

3.5 out of 5 stars.

Dear god, am I actually doing a REVIEW??? Why I am! The review here is going to be SPOILERIFIC, if you don't want spoilers, well, head on over to Zombie Whisperer's Goodreads page. I shall be posting a less spoilery review there. DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU

Now, onto the review!

Now, I'm not much into the Zombie trend. Although I absolutely love the Resident Evil games, I just feel there is only so far the Zombie trend can be brought before it nosedives into corny territory.

Caterina proved me wrong.

Zombie Whisperer is about a young woman named Jane Smith who woke up from an illness to find the world as she knew it turned upside down: the zombie apocalypse had happened. After escaping to her boyfriend, Josh Williams', house, the pair make a mad dash to the East Coast and possible safety, but not before they are captured by the very people who created the zombies. That is where Jane learns more than she would ever want to know about her family history and her newfound abilities; she can control the very creatures that had destroyed everything.

I love this idea she brought to the table. This mix of science and the metaphysical with zombies. I actually envy her ability to do this without having the reader go 'Author! Will you just PICK one already??'. I love it when authors really challenge the 'rules' of their genre.

Now for the spoiler part.